dear me ten years ago,

Dear 15 year old Kaylee - 

• You’re right, people are lying to you and your high school years are not the best years of your life. You don’t know this yet, but they are the start of some of the worst years - but hope is coming *stay tuned*
• Those guys writing “250” on your locker are still a bunch of jerks and while you don’t weigh that number (yet) even when you do, and go beyond it, it doesn’t mean they were right, it means they’re a-holes. 
• MySpace is about to die and so will the Jonas Brothers in a few years... Hold on to your love for the Bros, but when MySpace goes down, don't get a FaceBook - It's the worst.
• She’s still your best friend. You’re going to have a few disconnects in the coming years, but even in the midst of them, she’s a constant still.

• You’re about to get highlights for the first time... your mom was right and your natural hair color is better but you H A D to have it your way.
• “You’d make a great girlfriend if you were...smaller” is a line you will replay in your head more time than you can count for at least the next 10 years. It still hurts like hell when you remember that moment, but hope is coming.
• You never pass the FCAT
• You’re right, Psychology is what you should study forever. You were made for this junk, and the detours to realizing that is part of the process.. I guess
• She’s really is your built in best friend - you’ll see.

• You’ll never be a size 2 but you will K I L L a freaking bikini anyway. 
• You’ll go to Scotland one day... actually that still hasn’t happened but we’re steady speaking it into existence because we’ve only dreamed of it forever.
• Knowing your worth right now is impossible. You’re looking at the friends around you, the failed tests and all the sports teams you didn’t make like the rest... but Hope is coming.
• Your eyes won’t really get stuck in the back of your head if you roll them too much... that doesn’t mean that you should but I have tested that theory TOO many times and it’s a bunch a bologna.
• You’ll tell someone the thing you think your going to carry alone for the rest of your life. You’ll tell someone someday and it won’t feel like death anymore.
• You still want to write a book.
• Quit fighting with your mom, it’s exhausting and you never really win.
• You will play Spyro again... and it’s just as glorious as before.
• Drop that pink eyeshadow stick!

• I know you’re so confused about the whole God thing and what you believe or don’t believe - but hold on, hope is coming.
• You cry a lot and they say it’s probably just your hormones but uh.. you’re always going to be the crier and that’s more than okay. Cry it out, sister. You need to.
• Youth groups ARE weird, but you’ll learn to love it.
• Right again, these friends are not forever - BUT you need them right now. That doesn’t mean you get to isolate yourself when things get hard.
• Seeing The Unborn is about to ruin horror movies for you. You literally haven’t watched one since.
• Depression is coming. It’s going to be 10 years before you see how much it took from you, but, sweet girl, Hope is there in the midst of it. 
• Nothing is what you thought it would be - we’re find that that’s normal though.
• Start a podcast because DANG those things are blowing up now.
• Jesus is about to change everything. Life is going to get harder in some ways, but it’s supposed to. Depression is hit, anxiety will paralyze you and you’ll feel so alone sometimes - but this Jesus that you meet somehow has made it to where you can hold sorrow in one hand and joy in the other. We are just now learning to put words to that, but that’s what will happen. He is going to take you places you never thought you’d go, don’t want to go, and that you didn’t see coming. It’s going to hurt sometimes, but soon after you meet this Jesus, He is going to convince you that He is better than literally anything else - and you’re going to take Him at His word, and that’s when things get crazy. We love Him more today than you will think is possible. You’ll find that He Loves you more than you could ever hope, sees you more than you care to be seen, and hears you even when you think nobody else does. 

Dear 15 year old Kaylee -

Sweet girl, we’re really good friends now. You probably need a hug, I wish I could hug you - but your mom would probably love to so hit her up.

 I love you more than I ever thought I could. You’re doing the best you can, I see you and I applaud you. Everything is about to change. 

Hope is coming - you’ll see.