tiny human teachings
I have fought the fight... finished the race... and my days in that tiny room with all the tiny
This summer did not come without lessons learned though, and not just how to change 9 diapers in 15 minutes, but lessons about life, human beings, and even God.
So here are a few of the things I learned from my two months with two year old
1 - It is okay to cry. Now I am the type of person that will cry anywhere, anytime. I have gotten a lot better over the years at identifying and controlling my emotions, and finding ways to express them that don't include running makeup and bloodshot eyes and headaches. Even though I am a crier, I can feel such guilt or shame for my tears. That might sound crazy, but if it makes someone uncomfortable, or if I am the only one crying, I feel instantly like something is wrong with me. But it is okay to cry it out. Crying is a natural response to overwhelming emotion, good or bad.
When a child falls headfirst on the tile floor because they decided to run across the room pushing a truck, even though they KNOW they're supposed to stay on the carpet, you don't pick them up and say "Okay, stop crying. You're fine." There is a wound there... a big ol' black and blue bump on their forehead. There is pain that has to be dealt with. Sometimes we don't know how to deal with the pain until after the tears and the screaming.
We experience loss. Deep painful things that we can't process fully as humans, and sometimes the right damage control or healing can only take place after we shed our tears, scream, bawl like babies, and take a Tylenol.
Y'all the best part is not even that we have permission to weep, but we who walk with Jesus never weep alone. The shortest verse in the Bible reminds us of this fact. That Jesus feels grief and pain with us so much, that He weeps with us in the midst of the mess we find ourselves in. Jesus wept over the loss of His friend.. His brother! But as the tears fell, never once did He forget the faithfulness of God, even in His grief. When we cry, He is simultaneously crying with us, remembering God's faithfulness for us, and reminding us of it in His presence.
So cry it out, sister - No shame in the weeping game..
2 - Shake it off. Sometimes you need to get your butt up, dust off your shorts and pull up that pull-up. When Jamie is crying because Travis push a car across the room and it bumped into her.. no ma'am - I don't have time for that and neither does Jamie.
We must learn that not every small disturbance is worth us taking our eyes off of what is happening in front of us. When Jamie gets bumped by the car, sure she can look down and see what bumped her, but wouldn't her day be better if she chose to look back up and play ponies rather than melt the freak down, ruining her free play time? I know they're two..but you're not. I cannot tell you how often I let little bumps cause me to look away from the goal. I get fixated on the distraction and my gaze is caught on something that was MAYBE supposed to take my glance.
When someone cuts me off in traffic, the wifi is down, a child wipes his FECES on my walls, or my flight is delayed - I can choose to fixate on these things, or glance down to identify the problem, find a solution, and get back to work. Pull up your big girl panties honey, not everything is worth crying over.
3 - Take and nap and eat a snack. Y'all, these children are quieter when they're eating than when they're sleeping. I have one little boy, johnny do-good from the last blog post, who has a mental break down every morning at 8 a.m. He lays on the floor, kicking his shoes off and cries because he wants breakfast, which is served at 8:30. The same child gets cranky everyday at 10:30, 30 minutes before lunch and then nap time. When he wakes up from his nap, he is whining and crying for a snack... but then, after snack - he is like a brand new kid..
Y'ALL - hanger is a real thing! Keep snacks with you everywhere you go. And for the love of your health and your loved ones, take a dang nap if you need one. You, and the people around you, deserve you at your best. Your day deserves you at your best and when you're hungry and tired, you're not you... hence the snickers commercial..
4 - Ask for help. Children really like to do things on their own. They take pride in getting themselves dressed, brushing their own teeth or hair, and "bathing" themselves. They also like to wipe their own butts once they feel they go it down.. I am ALL for wiping your own butt, don't get me wrong.. but I have seen this go terribly awry..
My classroom was the potty training classroom. I had two toilets for tiny human in the back of my classroom that had a half wall surrounding them so I could peer in in times of trouble.. and oh was there trouble. I once heard the phrase "Uhh, I gots poops on my hand.." and I knew it was going to be bad. There was not only "poops on her hand.." there was poops EVERY-WHERE. All over my walls, her clothes, both potties, and the floor.. I pulled myself together, nearly throwing up throughout the entire clean up, and got the job done. When I was cleaning up the little terd monster, I asked her (calmly of course) what on God's green Earth she was thinking when she made the mess.. and she said "I wanted to clean myself up."
We do this. We think we can handle the big stuff on our own, we think we have it all under control because we saw Sally do it and so surly we can. And so often, at the first sign of a bigger mess, we just keep going instead of asking for help. We almost always create a bigger mess, and then we find ourselves inviting someone into it to help us in a messier situation that we could have ever imagined..OR we make the mess so big, we let it take us down - and we go down alone.
This is the hardest lesson for me to write about. I am the cleaner of messes. I like to jump in and be there for other people with a broom, dust pan, and superglue in hand, ready to fix up whatever has been busted to bits.. but I often like to fix my own messes to the point of anxiety and fear.
We were not made for that. We were not made to fix it all on our own. God Himself was a community in the Trinity, and while they did not make messes, they are not complete apart from each other and together they dive into our mess, pick up the pieces, and hold it all together beautifully. You were not made to walk alone. Ask for help.
5 - Use your words. I love reading out loud to kids. It was the highlight of every day for me. One of the best books I read almost daily was a book called The Way I Feel. It goes through a series of different emotions and gives a brief description of the emotion and why someone might feel that way. "Disappointed. The plans were made so long ago for you to visit me today - but now you can't come after all. I'm disappointed we can't play." I have the book memorized.
Giving language to our emotions is so important not only in childhood, but adulthood as well. When I am able to identify my feelings and why I have them, they aren't as overwhelming and scary. Sometimes I literally have to say out loud what I am feeling - call it out and call it by it's name. "If you're mad, say you're mad.." then deal with it. Don't bottle it up and deliver it through passive aggressiveness or a mess of emotions. Be honest with yourself.
6 - Wonder. I don't love it when kids climb on my bookshelves to look out the window.. but I get it. They remember that there is something else going on outside of where they are, and they want to catch a glimpse of it. Johnny do-gooder loves to look for lizards. So much so that he will stand at the fence during out entire recess time watching lizards that are just out of his reach.
Adults don't tend to do that. Sure we can get caught up in a daydream, but when was the last time your daydream brought you to your feet to wonder and wander into something greater than what is right in front of you? So often a child's wonder causes them to wander into something that takes their imagination and creativity to a whole new level. Lizards become dinosaurs, swings are airplanes, and the jungle gym is an actual jungle full of monkeys and cheetahs to watch and discover.
There is still a world full of things that you don't know about. Watch a documentary about the ocean and you begin to get a sense of how much you, and human kind, don't actually know. It makes you feel small, but in a really cool way. It makes you ask questions, seek answers, and get a sense of the greatness of God. Don't lose your wonder.
It took some removal from the classroom to see the things I actually learned in my two months at the daycare... I am thankful for the reflection, but I am also thankful that it is OVER! I am also thankful for a God who used even this job to teach me about who He is, who I am, and how the world works in light of that.
Humans are weird. God is good.
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