do you love you?

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

This verse and the idea behind it is plastered all over the place. We read this, and we gain from it "treat others the way you want to be treated.." but I dare say, I think we missed something here. 

Let's break this apart a bit...

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind..." LOL I. Can't. Do. That.

This idea that I would be able to love God with EVERYTHING. That I would be able to do this for a second of my life, let a lone an hour, day, or week...that is impossible for my wayward heart. We cannot do this, so why on Earth would God ask us to? Command us to? 

Simply put, Jesus did this for us. Though He walked through his life tempted and tried, His eyes never drifted from the glory of His Father... even to the point of hanging on the cross and the Father, that He so beautifully obeyed, turning His face away, even then He was faithful to love God with EVERYTHING. 

That truth tends to do one of two things:

• One either chases after Christ, clings to the cross, and doesn't dare let go. Striving to look like Christ, and when falling - because it is inevitable - getting back up and refocusing on the goal. Not asking "Is this sin?" but asking instead "Does this help me run faster towards the goal?" That is option one...
• Option two is looking at that truth and thinking "Well I can do what I want then because Jesus loves me anyway.." You might not actually say that, though some will, but that attitude will speak loudly through your actions. You're either all in, or not. And half-way in, is out. 

Sound harsh? I don't mean it to be, but I want us to gain a sense of what God is asking commanding of us. You either love Him, or you don't. And if you do, then you jump in head first into the majesty that is life cruciform. Arms open, giving, and uncomfortable living. Will we do this perfectly? Absolutely not, not even Billy Graham, Matin Luther, or the Apostle Paul could pull off such a task, but they knew deeply the One who could - and that made all the difference.  There is no room and no time for lukewarm "relationships.." when it comes to Christ. (I will finish this "sermon" in another post...)

That is the first COMMAND in a nutshell, now the second...

"And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself..."

I think in a lot of ways, we do this. (hang tight)

Here is the thing about following God, when you fall so incredibly in love with Him, you fall in love with what He loves. What does He love? His Bride. Thats your neighbor, your family, friends, church members - that is anyone anywhere who loves Him, knows Him, and wants to make Him known. My friend, if you are a follower of Christ, that is you too.

He Loves You.

So, if you're falling head over heels in love with God, and that means you love what He loves, then that means you have to love --- You. 

To be deeply known and deeply loved, not only by God, but by yourself, now that might be the key to this whole loving your neighbors thing. I want to deeply know and love myself, not because I am so great, but because He is!

Now I know people who "LOVE" themselves with their cute little selfies with a filter and a caption about loving life - thats all fine and great and..whatever - different rant for a different day. But I am talking about loving who you are when nobody is looking. I mean loving the person you are in the midst of a failure. I mean loving who you are when you feel like the walls are caving in around you because you messed up again. I mean loving who you are when you step on the scale or look in the mirror (pre-makeup, ladies.) I mean loving who you are deep, deep inside. At the depths of what makes you, you. Do you love that person? Because God does.

You cannot rightly love your neighbor if you do not rightly love yourself, and you cannot rightly love yourself if you do not rightly love God. 

You can do all the charity, bake the casseroles, babysit for free, mow someones yard, write a bunch of checks, and offer prayer all you want - those are GOOD things, but I think there is a deeper calling in that than a momentary high of giving - and I think we find that at the foot of the cross. 

God wants and desires and commands that you love Him first, above all else. And when you fix your eyes on Him, and take them off yourself for a second,  you start the love deeply the most beautiful things, including His church, and including You. This might mean that you take some time and really explore who you are and why you are the way you are. That task is daunting and honestly for most will mean digging up painful things...

or you could think I am crazy, dark, twisty and dramatic and I would honestly have to agree with you...

I am just beginning this journey, and it is a beautiful one. And I would be a fool to think my weight-loss surgery will help me understand this more. I am on a journey of loving myself, not for my own sake, or the sake of a few followers on social media, but for the sake of the Gospel, and loving people well. 

Friend, God loves you just as you are, right now, but He surly loves you too much to let you live in your mess forever.

God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in Him, not in the midst of instagram worthy moments, but in the midst of loving the dark depths of me, just as He does.

His love changes everything, that includes how you, love you.