gaining life
okay, this is the beginning to a new life, for real this time.
i have written posts about my quest to a healthy life since i started writing in 2010.
i have been on and off this quest for my entire life, so it is time for a drastic rebirthing...of my stomach.
in a couple of months i will be undergoing the vertical sleeve gastrectomy. this is a bariatric procedure that honestly isn't too complicated...it is simply a couple of dudes cutting 75% of my stomach.
i think any bariatric surgery is pretty controversial, but i did not come to the decision to undergo the surgery lightly, nor did i come to the decision to share my journey lightly.
i have tried everything people. low carb, no carb, workout videos, curves, trainers, support groups, counseling...i have spent thousands of dollars to drop a few pounds and gain it back.
you could say this is an easy way out and a good last resort for someone with lack of will power, but you're wrong and i am not too concerned with what you have to say.
here's the thing, i want to live. you see, it's not even that i want my life back, i have never really had one.
i don't remember a life without wondering if i would fit on a rollercoaster seat.
i have never been able to shop the same clothing racks as my friends.
i have never been able to do a cartwheel or cross my legs in church.
i want to fearlessly dance in public with my friends and no need for...liquid courage.
i don't want to wonder if i am going to get too winded to keep up with my people when they want to go for a walk or hike or swim..(in a bikinidamn it..)
i don't want to hesitate to take a once in a lifetime trip because the thought of being on a plane and sitting with people and being stared at..it just hurts.
this procedure will allow me to start over in a sense. this is my starting over with a tiny stomach and this is my opportunity to feed if the goodness it wants and needs. eventually it will go back to a normal size, and of course i could stretch it back out, but this is my time to start over. this is my kick start to life and living.
with that said, the hope is to have the procedure done in late february / early march. i have a few appointments and tests in the coming weeks and hopefully i will have an official date very soon.
until then, i would love for you to be praying for me.
pray for my appointments to go smoothly and for the process to move quickly.
pray for my nerves and my ability to process what my body will be going through.
pray for my ability to start making good choices now in prep for the choices i will be forced to make soon - i am struggling with the "well this could be the last time for a while..." mindset.
i don't want to be held back anymore, there is a skinny girl inside of me that is ready to live.
i have written posts about my quest to a healthy life since i started writing in 2010.
i have been on and off this quest for my entire life, so it is time for a drastic rebirthing...of my stomach.
in a couple of months i will be undergoing the vertical sleeve gastrectomy. this is a bariatric procedure that honestly isn't too complicated...it is simply a couple of dudes cutting 75% of my stomach.
i think any bariatric surgery is pretty controversial, but i did not come to the decision to undergo the surgery lightly, nor did i come to the decision to share my journey lightly.
i have tried everything people. low carb, no carb, workout videos, curves, trainers, support groups, counseling...i have spent thousands of dollars to drop a few pounds and gain it back.
you could say this is an easy way out and a good last resort for someone with lack of will power, but you're wrong and i am not too concerned with what you have to say.
here's the thing, i want to live. you see, it's not even that i want my life back, i have never really had one.
i don't remember a life without wondering if i would fit on a rollercoaster seat.
i have never been able to shop the same clothing racks as my friends.
i have never been able to do a cartwheel or cross my legs in church.
i want to fearlessly dance in public with my friends and no need for...liquid courage.
i don't want to wonder if i am going to get too winded to keep up with my people when they want to go for a walk or hike or swim..(in a bikini
i don't want to hesitate to take a once in a lifetime trip because the thought of being on a plane and sitting with people and being stared at..it just hurts.
this procedure will allow me to start over in a sense. this is my starting over with a tiny stomach and this is my opportunity to feed if the goodness it wants and needs. eventually it will go back to a normal size, and of course i could stretch it back out, but this is my time to start over. this is my kick start to life and living.
with that said, the hope is to have the procedure done in late february / early march. i have a few appointments and tests in the coming weeks and hopefully i will have an official date very soon.
until then, i would love for you to be praying for me.
pray for my appointments to go smoothly and for the process to move quickly.
pray for my nerves and my ability to process what my body will be going through.
pray for my ability to start making good choices now in prep for the choices i will be forced to make soon - i am struggling with the "well this could be the last time for a while..." mindset.
i don't want to be held back anymore, there is a skinny girl inside of me that is ready to live.
Kaylee, I love your transparency and willingness to share your story. I will definitely be praying for all that you've requested. You can do it and when you feel like you can't, God WILL help you. Love you and your sweet heart!!
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